Sunday, November 11, 2012

Definiteness of Purpose

As usual I got a lot going on.  First, the presidential election.  Not really a choice.  The "Imperialist/Statist" party won again for the thirtieth time in a row.  I just wrote in Ron Paul.  This has no effect on how Utah swings in the Electoral College.

I'm pretty burned after what happened at the Republican National Convention.  The pre-determined results are read from a teleprompter.

So, for the time being I'm just concentrating on family and work.  Just letting it rest with politics for a bit while I get my bearings and figure out what to do next.  Sorry folks, I've realized recently how blargh it is to talk politics in polite company.  But a blog is the right forum I think.

My father-in-law was in town this last week which meant my "study" was displaced out of the guest room.  It's nice to have relatives over.  You'd think I'd mind, but I don't.

It's Sunday right now.  I'm in bed with my lovely wife watching Hulu.  We like Alphas.  Also, "Going Postal" a Terry Pratchett movie came on to Netflix.  I love that series.  I've read a few of the books, but haven't done much fiction reading recently.

Let's flash back to Saturday.  After work my wife and I headed to the store and picked up pumpkin pie, whipped cream, bananas and a rotisserie chicken.  Once home we made a miniatures Thanksgiving dinner with mashed potatoes, vegetables, and bread.  Very nice.  Our family life is very close-knit and we get along well together.  I don't know how to describe it.  When I was in my early twenties I got the idea somewhere that marriage and family was a never-ending trial, but I've found nothing like that.  My kids are a never-ending delight.  Even my teenage daughter (can you believe that?) is not hardly trying my patience at all.

Since I have recently been working on maintaining a positive mental attitude, constantly, and working to improve my lot in life with higher and clearer goals, life has become difficult.   By trying to swing up, I sometimes swing down harder than ever before.  So, this last week I was much more methodical.  I don't let my mind wander when I first wake up.  I control my thoughts.  I let my mind dwell on good things.  I do a mental "walk-through" of the day thinking of how things could go right.  Not my usual, but the old fearful Shawn is gone.  I walk as a conqueror through my life. 

Same thing at night.  As my mind winds down and the night grows dark the bogeymen come I do not let my guard down.  I am careful what I watch.  I am careful what I think.  I don't watch dysfunctional TV.  I look for things on youtube that represent things that I desire.  Could be better.  Also, I go to sleep with a two-hour stint of Napoleon Hill

I had a dream that I pulled into a well-tended gas station on a long journey.  Inside everything was clean and shiny and in good order.  Fuel, bathroom, and snacks.  Everything a traveller could need.  The attendant behind the counter turned to me in a crisp orange and brown uniform with a trim paper hat of those same colors.  It was Napoleon Hill.  He said something to me.  "Whatever you can conceive and believe, you can achieve."

Friday a heavy snow fell in Utah Valley.  It was thick, icy and wet.  It broke branches on trees.  From one day as a mild autumn to a hard sub-zero winter.  The cloud cover is heavy and when the moon is behind it the whole scene is lit with a dull yellow light.  At 2am it's surreal to look out the window.


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