Sunday, October 14, 2012

Today is a Good Day

I'm not doing well.  I have a stress headache.  My mind is full of worry.  It's not a good place.

Saturday morning my wife and I took to the road, her driving, going up to Valhalla.  My sweet wife was radiant and calm.  The scenery was beyond belief.  It was heaven on earth.

I ranted and raved the entire way.  The subject: nothing works, nothing is going right.  Oh it was bad.  I was so negative.  My lovely wife just extended her arm and held my hand, listening quietly.  For forty-five minutes I went off like a kettle boiling over.  As we arrived in Sundance I petered out and I asked her to say something.

"Shawn, I love you.  All the things we are doing now are laying the foundation for a better life.  Things are getting better and progressing.  Oh, and don't worry, I am full of positive things so none of this is getting to me."

How fortunate I am!  What a tremendous woman I have married.  Best thing that's ever happened to me.  She has managed to keep it together being married to such a mercurial being as myself.  Mostly up, but when I'm down it's pretty hard.

Later that day I was walking down a Sundance road, the glory of autumn all around, and I had a realization: Today is always good.  It is the tomorrow that I invent in my mind that is horrible.  It's spoiling the present.  I need to keep today protected carefully in my mind.

It's always that way with small business.  The seas seem choppier when you are in a small boat.  I am working super-hard to achieve equilibrium.  However, without a supply of capital on hand I have to expand using only our meager resources and it creates hard shocks.  Right now is the right time to get capital for BTP which is something that we are eagerly looking for.  I would sign on for $200,000 tomorrow and put it to good use.

I believe that things are moving forward.  My life, my person, my business and All the people associated with this venture are all improving and at a notable rate.  I just need to be more grateful and "see" things more clearly.  It's not always sales, money dropping into the bank.  Connections, people, arrangements and learning experiences all count as progression as well.

Let me give you an example.  While at Valhalla we formed a relationship with Miniwargaming.com that will allow us access/exposure to their subscriber base of 60,000 or more subscribers.  Flash back two months.  Rob from Marketing approached me and asked me what I wanted.  I said "I want 50,000 Youtube subscribers."  The math on that was impossible as we were only rising fifteen subscribers a day and would need like more than two hundred a day.  See how that went?  We stayed focused, did the right thing and it turned out in a marvelous and spectacular way.

I'm trying to hoist it all by myself.  That's not right either.  There are supplies at hand.  There are other people involved here.  God, family and friends will all help.  I always assume people will be upset with me if I don't produce the results (I perceive) that they want.  But that's not necessarily the case.




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